Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Those Dogs are Better Looking than My Last 3 Dates

Soooo, rolled out of bed this morning pretty darn late (so late that I won't even admit it here what the time really was), and threw on my ratty-ass $19 cotton dress from Ross. I have been known to go out in my pajamas... forget brushing hair or teeth, it's all I can do to make sure the dogs are in leashes. So basically I look like the crazy dog lady when I take the dogs out first thing.

Walking down Prospect Park West with Esmerelda, Angie and Simone, hiding behind extra large sunglasses, hoping to avoid meeting anyone I might know (or anyone I might want to know). Older man who hasn't updated his look since 1977 rides up on his bike, turns dramatically toward me and says 'Those dogs are better looking than my last three dates.' I laugh and say 'especially her' motioning to Esmerelda. He stops to chat for a bit and tells me that he has a couple of rescued cats and that his friend is caring for 16 cats in a house with his wife and 2 kids and it is so clean you could eat off the floor - and that this guy's 'heart is so big' he even feeds a rat that skulks around outside. I think the conversation might be winding down a bit and he is readying to keep riding along when he lowers his sunglasses suggestively and says 'Might I also say that it should be illegal to look as good in that dress as you do.' I have no response at this moment, just an uncomfortable 'thank you.' Then he says, 'That's a gorgeous dress and you look great in it.'

Quick recap - unshowered, unbrushed hair thrown up, no makeup (of course), wearing a ratty-ass cotton dress off the sale rack at Ross... this is NOT a gorgeous dress in any dimension of reality, and I do NOT look great in it - particularly not at this moment.

Seeee now, this is the thing about creepy older men who think it is 1977 - the compliments just make us gals feel uncomfortable because a) we know you are delusional when we look like we have just hacked our way through a dense forest, b)  how are we supposed to respond to this? I have no response. I cannot think of a response except that I just want to escape.

I think I sort of chuckled uncomfortably and he says 'Thanks for the company. Have a great day' and rides off.

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